


Loose To Gain

by kimrinah (rosalieirenen)



Category: Beast (Band), Highlight | Beast (Band), K-pop
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalieirenen/pseuds/kimrinah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dujun moves into a small town, Janggohang, near to the sea. It's not his decision so he's far from being happy about that. There he meets Dongwoon, on the first day. He doesn't like him at the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loose To Gain

**Author's Note:**

> 'Midnight' was an inspiration

They are almost there, he knows it by looking at the map in his hands, the map that was necessary only for him, as his father knows exactly where he's driving to as Dujun has never been there yet. His mind goes blank again, nothing distracting him while he is looking at the window. Flashes of trees, the same high pines forming a dark yet white wall along the road makes him shiver. It is going to be the view he'll be sorrounded by for the next who-knows-how long. It wasn't snowing much in the city but here, here all the world seemes to be covered by at least one meter thin layer of snow

 

White and dark at the same. Dujun yawns and shifts in his seat. He doesn't want to be there yet he has to.

 

„We'll be there in about twenty minutes” his father tells him and he starts to develop a fear. It's irrational and stupid of him but he feels that panic is invading his mind. He wants to scream yet he wonders why he even thought of it. He lets himself a quiet sigh.

 

The forest breaks for a moment and Dujun sees the ocean, gray and calm mass of water. He glues his eyes to the sight, thinks of how it has to be in the summer, when the sun is bright and warm and warms everything else. He wonders how the view must look in the light of summers' sunshine. It lasts not much longer than a glimpse though, they pass the bridge and there's an army of pines' wall behind the window again. Dujun is happy he sits in a car, warm and cozy backseat.

 

But finally he can't stand it, white trees everywhere where he looks so he puts on old, cheap music player and while eyeing his father with a sorry look on face. He slides the shuffle button on and a quiet ballad starts playing. Dujun looks around but his hands unconciously find their way to the player. He doesn't like the music. It makes his anger only raise. It grows his fear of this place which he still doesn't get why (the fucking fear) appeared at all.

The music changes into a fast beat as he changes the folder. The lyrics is bright and about a lovey-dovey couple and how happy they are and Dujun is just pissed of  how it doesn't suit the mood at all.

 

He does several clicks on the player again and there's a third folder, the last one and Dujun hopes it would match his feelings. The song starts with a heavy riff of band's guitarist and a slow beat drummer is playing and then bass is added. The music is heavy, slow and it finally makes him calm a bit. The voice coming from earphones is low, raw and the sharptounge, the brutal, vulgar lyrics makes Dujun compose himself. He closes eyes for a longer moment, inhaling the rythm, the meaning of the song and stops caring over such trivial things like the snowy forest around him.

 

He waits until his breath is calm again, and why the hell it wasn't anyway, but when he opens his eyes again he notices a couple of houses in a distance of about six hundred meters (and decreasing) away and shit, to hell with his calmness, they're already in the town and he's not calm anymore.

 

One of the earphones falls out and is hanging off of his shoulder and his father notices it.

 

„It is where your parents were growing up, Dujun-ah.” He smiles a little. „We really hated this small town when we were at your age but now we sometimes even regret leaving here.” His father chuckles and points at some hill on the right. „It's where I asked your mom out.”

 

Dujun wants him to stop but he finds it extremly difficult to even ask him gentle for it. They were to separate in an hour or so and he doesn't find the courage to to take away from him last moments with his son. So he listen to him, both knowing he won't remember even half of it but they continue on telling and listening. They eventually start to recieve some sort of comfort out of it and Dujun calms down again. Not completely, of course because he can't be calm with the thought of living here, his father leaving him in this small town in the middle of nowhere. But he's an adult so he doesn't let it overcome him though.

 

The house he's supposed to live his life in from now on is in the 'centre' of the town. The centre consisting of a supermarket, a temple, one school and an old market with cheap souvenirs. It's school which is the closest of them and Dujun hates it already because who would like the little bastards wandering under one's windows since morning till the afternoon? Not Dujun for sure.

 

But he says no complaints, he says nothing in order not to make his father guilt for decisions that have been made, decisions that brought him here.

 

The house is big, bigger than he imagied and old, ugly for not being reovated for a long time. But he sees it has potential and Dujun holds onto this like it's some kind of good omen for his life in here. He get's out of the car and immediately pulls the zipper up and it seems so much colder than in his hometown that he doesn't wait for his father and walks into the house with a slight sign of curiosity in his eyes.

 

Inside it's warm and silent and it feels like a real home he never had experienced living in a tiny flat with his parents and an older sister in Daejeon. He doesn't hestitate in exploring, going to the first door on his right and enters the kitchen, the holy-shit-what-a-big kitchen and Dujun is just watching, not saying anything.

 

The kitchen barely shows the signs of usage, most of it's stuff being old and dusted. He hears his father entering the house, noticing that front doors cracked loud being opened (and it would wake up the dead so for sure it would wake up Dujun as his sleeping never was hard enough). Father shows up in the kitchen's doorframe for only a few seconds as he looks at his only son's discovering the place and he disappears only to find his own father. Dujun eventually follows him, out too eagerly, and then they are in living room where a shadow of a human sits in a wheelchair, the reason of him being here. Dujun's grandfather.

 

Dujun greats him politely but distracts himself just after, when he moves his eyes to the boy next to his relative. They're eyeing eachother carefully, Dujun thinking of the other that he looks like the same age as him and reminds that father did tell him that a neighbour's kid is taking care of his grandfather for quite a time.

 

Grandfather starts saying something so Dujun ignores the boy and listens to him and his father arguing over some financial issue he doesn't dare to interfere.

They're on the couch, well, except grandfather and the boy who stays behind the wheelchair. It's when the boy shiffles a little, reminding his presence to grandfather when he speaks calm again.

 

„It's Dongwoon,” he says reaching for the boy and pushing him forward for a silly presentation. „He took care of me, and he did it perfect so better do at least the same, Dujun-ah.” Grandfather attempts a joke but Dujun finds it not funny at all so forces a smile on his face.

 

„I'm leaving grandpa in your hands, Dujun hyung.” Dongwoon uses a polite way and it surprises Dujun to the point he sticks his eyes onto him for a few seconds. He nods finally, just realizing he never spoke since the little chit-chat conversation he had with his father in the car but he feels as he got some totally unfair punishment resulted in him being here so he doesn't want to say anything yet to avoid the tension it might cause once he'd speak. At least it's not everyday that someone who claims his love to you tells you to pack up and get rid of everything important in your life saying there's no other choice. But he got over it, right?

 

Finally Dongwoon says he has things to do and Dujun's father realizes that if he's not going to leave now it'd be to dangerous to driving at night during such snowy winter so they both leave. Dujun closes frontdoors and it hits him with all it's strenght. He manages to let out some mumblings to his grandfather about the need to unpack his things and he's been told where's supposed to be his room from now on.

 

He goes upstairs and pushes the door lightly. It seems it's the only one that doesn't crack. Dujun enters the room expecting dust, dirt and spider's nets everywhere. He sees a big (to him at least), clean room with a slight smell of citruses. Someone prepared the room for him and Dujun can't think of anyone but this Dongwoon kid.

 

It makes a light, warm sensation in his stomach as the only positive thing of the situation Dujun found himself. He looked around and, for the fisrt time feeling some kind of anticipation, he thought about how the room needs a little bit of rearrangement and how he's supposed to make it more personal, more like Dujun's.

 

„It's gonna be your new home, dumbass,” he says to himself.

 

It's when he finally lays on his new bed when all the fears surround him again. Grandfather's sudden illness makes him move in with him, ditching over his life in Daejeon. His friends, his hobbies, his dreams and possibilities. He lets a single tear fall down his cheeck as the anger overwhelms him. He wants to throw something, to release emotions with brutal strenght and he can't and it frustrates him even more to the point it's barely standable. He closes his eyes shut and burrows his face in a pillow and wants to scream. Scream from his lungs that, hell, he doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to leave anything from his (now) previous life, he doesn't want to give up on his life, whatever it was like. Because that's how he feels now. His life is over. He has to start a new one here with people so different from him. He grew up in Daejeon. He grew up in one of the largest cities in this country and he's now stuck in a five thousand people town. Without anything he loved. The pain in his heart just doesn't want to heal.

 

Dujun closes his eyes and forces himself to calm down. He knows that since tomorrow he's gonna start a new life and he'll do his best. He just needs to calm down and think positive. He knows he can do it.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think about it!


End file.
